Course: Podium 101
Goal: To improve candidate or potential appointee speech skills
Podium 101 Course Graduate
I. Introductory letter
Dear Potential Appointee or Candidate:
You will be subject to hearings, debates, heavy questioning and delvings before reaching the promised land of an election or actual appointment. These courses are offered through a variety of institutions for your betterment in surviving, yea, even gleaming through such hardships. If you request a waiver based on existing superior skills, such will be given but only after rigorous scrutiny. If a similar course is offered at an institution near you, we also will consider such as meeting the requirements herein.
You must attend singly, without Joe Blow to support you or run interference. See see ://dictionary.die.net/joe%20blow; ://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/joe+blow; ://www.thefreedictionary.com/turncoat. see ://dictionary.die.net/joe%20blow; ://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/joe+blow;
(signed) The faculty
A. Columbia College, Chicago.
"Oral Persuasion and Public Speaking for Managers," at ://www2.colum.edu/course_descriptions/28-2710.html. This course helps develop the "ability to speak confidently and effectively in a variety of public speaking situations." The student will prepare and present speeches before large and small audiences trained in technique and style analysis. "Particular attention is paid to style, persuasion and credibility in public speaking."
B. Leaders Institute.
Drop your fears and become persuasive "literally over night." See://www.leadersinstitute.com/public-speaking/index.html
C. Dale Carnegie (1888-1955).
"Public Speaking Mastery," see ://www.dalecarnegie.com/search_courses/sem_all.jsp?cCode=PSM&source=enr. For information about Mr. Carnegie himself, see ://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dale_Carnegie. Mr. Carnegie died in 1955.
The Public Speaking effectiveness courses that continue through the Dale Carnegie methodology particularly appeal to those candidates born between 1928 and 1938, that is, within the ten years before the the invention of the ball-point pen in 1938. The ball-point pen was invented at that time by Laszlo and George Biro, but after a period of pre-development by others, see ://inventors.about.com/library/weekly/aa101697.htm. Special classes offered do not require that students be proficient in communications, research or data analysis skills beyond those required by the scrivener's miracle, the ball-point pen. Yellow pads are provided.
Carnegie, as well as other courses following traditions established when technology was the cursive, does not discriminate against progress-insulated persons. In your situation, however, voters familiar with and even addicted to the joys and persuasion opportunities of internet and computer, may witness your blotty jots with furrowed brows.
D. Wellesley College, Wellesley MA. Both courses listed here are required.
D.1 Wellesley's Rhetoric Course, Aristotle, 350 B.C.
This ancient and still relevant art of persuasion course is included in Classical Studies at ://www.wellesley.edu/ClassicalStudies/CLSTWWW/courses.html. Demands at this institution are rigorous. Leave ball-point pens at home. For down-time, look into the Spoonholders.
The Parthenon, Athens
D.2 Wellesley Propaganda Course. This course is offered through the Sociology Department. Knowledge of the history and techniques of sales by words and acts are invaluable to anyone seeking to persuade others of his or her position.
You can enroll as a male at this female institution for certain courses, semesters, etc, with certain restrictions. You are already well acquainted with one of Wellesley's graduates, and she, we are confident, can assist you in filling out the forms. She can be reached through her Senate office.
Advance work for the Wellesley program: Read about Aristotle and his treatise on the persuasion arts, at ://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rhetoric_(Aristotle) . Ms. Clinton may be able to lend you her books.
- Book I, see ://classics.mit.edu/Aristotle/rhetoric.1.i.html/; and index to Book I at ://www.public.iastate.edu/~honeyl/Rhetoric/oneindex.html
- Book II, see ://classics.mit.edu/Aristotle/rhetoric.2.ii.html; and index to Book II at ://www.public.iastate.edu/~honeyl/Rhetoric/twoindex.html
- Book III at ://classics.mit.edu/Aristotle/rhetoric.html; and index to Book III ://www.public.iastate.edu/~honeyl/Rhetoric/threeindex.html
The committee notes that the Age of Denial (AD) is well over, during which hearers ignored or were kept unaware of the lack of substance and dependable factual background in persuasion. Blockades were implemented by the higher-ups against the lower-downs, in institutional religion, politics, consumer and environmental protection, etc. Fact avoidance is a favorite tool:
Choose an activity of action from the following list:
- Read this orientation, New World fact setting, "The Emperor's New Clothes," see ://www.pitt.edu/~dash/type1620.html#andersen. In that reading,, the committee suggests you substitute "facts" for "clothes." We, as a committee, do not want it said of any of our students, "But his garble has no facts!"
Pay particular attention to the role of swindlers in that tale.
- Organize a referendum in your community to fund the teaching of propaganda-identification in the schools and in adult education programs, including from classical Rhetoric sources (Aristotle. See Wellesley College course offerings above). Add it to No Child Left Behind legislation. Practice identifying injurious propaganda, persuasion aimed at your constituency by the placed unanswered question, the suggestion, the subtle invitation to agree with a point without examination. Discuss your findings.
- Housewives and househusbands: We commend you for your law school education, your intellectual record, your use of your talents while raising a family, and demonstrated skill in fundraising for public school matters and otherwise serving the public good. Now, go for the big stage.
- Smaller groups appreciate that staying out of the limelight can be a commendable setting of priorities.
- However, at this point, perhaps some brushing up in the art of schmoozing in larger groups including those including reporters would be useful, as your handlers have whisked you away from those kinds of contacts. See schmooze at ://www.bartleby.com/61/83/S0138300.html.
There are always those who do not wish a candidate well
Podium 101, is addressed to all new candidate or Senate appointee-hopefuls, and reminds you of the requirement for you to complete Podium 101 before further vetting for the position you seek.
- Example: Mr McCain complied earlier this year. Thank you for your letter of appreciation, Mr. McCain. We are pleased that you completed our course, and regret that it was not enough to bring the result you wanted. Still, there was improvement among the speech-dozers in your audiences. There is also ongoing fear of outburst, leading this institution to tread lightly around thee. Those who have experienced heightened and prolonged stress, actual and acted upon threat to survival, and complete loss of control; sometimes bust out when those experiences threaten beloved ideology or status, is that so?
- To those whose requests were denied, the committee decides on a case-by-case basis which course(s) are required of which candidates. The committee reviewed thoroughly your request for waivers. You requested a general waiver, and that is denied. Um, because, well, you know. Umm, mm. Umm. You know.
Further decisions as to specific components of our course:
Successful Graduate, Public Speaker Holding Attention
A. Individual Student Assessment Status. Counting speech-dozers.
The committee reviews submitted audios and videos, and those of audience reaction, and measures candidate media skills. Of these, audience reaction is given great weight. If persons that the speaker seeks to persuade, doze, the speaker loses - as does the Cause.
Speech Dozers: Podium 101 Counts and Watches
This clump of dedicated speech-dozers is not a good sign. Mr. McCain managed to improve his score, but not by much, except in belligerence. The committee has noted the polls and finds that the nation seeks appointees or winners who can SPEAK.
Thank you for your interest, and we look forward to working with you toward mastery of basic Podium skills.
Chair, Course Requirement Committee, America