Foodies, Druggies, and Woodsies
Will PhRMA Accept New Formation Including Fairness in Testing Doctrine and applied to the Woodsies?
Beware the Pharmajock, my son!
The cash that buys, the tests that fake....*
. They will not go gentle into that good night...**
WARSHINGTON Faux News Services.
In response to growing outrage at Big Pharma's unethical grab of the healthcare media perception management machine,see ://www.phrma.org/, President Barack Obama today at his weekly press conference released a revised outline of his proposed reorganization of the Food and Drug Administration.
This will include a specific role for a new third department, The Woodsies, or Alternative Medicine and other Alternatives in approach and ingredients. This step recognizes that quality care, efficiency and cost containment may be better served if the industry influence is offset by testing in other areas.
The era of dividing the FDA into functions has arrived, apparently. Subject, however, to the ubiquitous saboteurs of anything who thereby line their own pockets, thanks to the Warshington Bubble Effect (WBE).
The FDA was proposed as divisible into two parts. The first proposal, released last week, had divided the FDA into two parts and envisioned no separate Secretary.
One of those parts to serve food safety, including inspections for salmonella, belligerent bovine brain diseases, etc.; and the other to process reviews of new medicines.
The FDA is proposed as to be divided into three parts. After a week of public anger, cable maniacal fannings of flames, real and surreal, shouts and bus tours of the homes of Big PhRMA board members, the President declared that the FDA would now be separated into three parts, not two.
"Omnia FDA in tres partes divisa est," he said, sending the press corps to their history books, laurel leaves and uses of gall by saboteurs.
There would be a new Secretary of Digestibles and Injectables to oversee and facilitate the processes of the new FDA as to the Woodsies.
- Foodies. The first division of the FDA shall ensure food safety and be called the Foodies.
- Druggies. The second division of the FDA shall ensure effective synthetic healthcare treatments, and be called the Druggies.
- Woodsies. The third division of the FDA shall ensure effective dosage, pure and disclosed content and preparations of plant materials for healthcare treatment; and be called the Alternatives, for their Alternative Approaches to remedies and methodology in both the food safety and "medicine" fields.
According to inside sources, the parts of this new FDA three parts, really a triangle in shape, will not necessarily produce equal parts. This is not necessarily an equilateral system.
The new FDA formation shall presume that proposals of the Alternatives as to methods and ingredients are more effective and desirable compared to methods and ingredients proposed by the Foodies and Druggies.
Accordingly, the new Agency shall shape-change on a case-by-case basis, according to the determination of the Alternates, who remain at the top of the configuration. Their decision shall be appealable to the Secretary; and from there to a People's Court located at the geometric center of any triangle, and comprised of three appointees: one by the executive, one by the legislative, and one by the judicial branch. Service shall be for life. The decision of the People's Court shall be final.
Structure. See our website for further information, FN 1
Fairness in Testing Doctrine.
The Foodies or Druggies shall present their proposal for review by the Alternatives. The Alternatives shall determine whether or not to support the proposal. In case of non-support, they shall present their own proposal, and such shall be financed by the Foodies and Druggies as to testing such that resources and expertise are equal to those of the Foodies and Druggies. They may use former bonuses toward this end.
By requiring consideration of Alternatives at time of presentation, Foodies and Druggies shall be motivated to include full testing of Alternative proposals before making their own proposals, including found benefits and economies; and it shall benefit them to include the Alternatives' ideas from the outset.
To facilitate comparisons of methods and ingredients, all testing shall be transparent, all results made known immediately upon conclusion of every test. To fail to include Alternativemethods in comparative testing from the outset will, accordingly, cost the Druggies more in the long run.
Where the Alternatives propose an alternative approach to that taken by the Foodies or the Druggies, however, this proposal shall trump further approval of the proposal or finding of the Foodies or Druggies until testing of the Alternative process is completed.
To achieve this end of objective and equal testing of food-drug-alternative proposals, the Secretary of Digestibles and Injectables Department shall monitor, regulate and where needed, itself cause equal funding and expertise to test the proposal of the Alternatives. Then, at such time as the Alternatives can fund their own testing, they shall be compelled to do so, or may be taxed back in the amount advanced.
Financing the Fairness in Testing Doctrine. Estates angle.
Estate escheat. Funding for common good federal programs shall also address issues of abusive self-compensation, where feasible. In other words, try this as Better Yet New statutes shall now provide that nobody can pass on more than $5,000,000 to his or her heirs at his or her death; and such shall be enforced by judges without accusations of activism. The rest of the Estate defaults to the Federal Fund for Fairness in Testing. There is nothing more important than objective health testing. You gotta use it; during your life; or lose it in excess of $5,000,000 upon your demise.
This "equitable escheat" promotes productive use of fortunes during the life of the acquiror, not its hoarding for second and third generation hangers-on. See Andrew Carnegie, once richest man in the world, and his idea for that at Martin Luther's Stove, Gospel of Andrew Carnegie
An improved financial position for the Alternatives is not likely in the near future, however, since Alternatives probably consist of natural ingredients
1) widely available in the wild and
2) not subject to patent and the same kinds of profit as laboratory constructs, like sassafras remedies.
Heck, your Alternative remedy may just be in your own back yard, if you just had access to reasonable information on how to use it.
Understanding that the Secretary of the Treasury was panned earlier for providing an outline of a plan first, rather than having all the sticks and stones magically in place after being in office for a week or two, for immediate trashing, the new Secretary of Digestibles and Injectables offers these further details immediately. The SDI reserves reserves rights to revise depending on outcries of Foodies, Druggies, and even the Alternatives, who unrealistically had hoped to create a hierarchical system with Druggies at the bottom, always, and begging.
The president stated that his administration is consistent in its approach to torture. None. Torture is infliction of pain, injury and even death in extracting information. Such methods shall be subject to advance unanimous approval of the People's Court as to those proposed methods and results, to ensure absolutely minimal pain, if any at all, and treatment with humility, respect, comfort. That is, the designation of Vermin shall not remove such from their rights (numbers of squeaks of joy were heard at this point from under the floorboards),
"How about loopholes?" asked a voice from the floorboards. See our website for a discussion on loopholes, FN 1.
"Let me say this about that," said the President. And he elaborated on his plan: In particular,
PhRMA and any other proponent of a remedy shall not fix the result. That is, it shall not engage in any testing, for example, using mice or other rodents unless they first demonstrate that the species itself is not averse to the substance to begin with. Many plant components have developed a defense to being eaten by rodents, and thereby protect themselves against being eaten up by the little squeakers, or beavers. This is called "allelopathy," and many rodents are in an allelopathic relationship to the plant in the first place.
Pharma and the FDA are both accused of fixing test results by using rodents to find out about carcinogenic elements in the plants that the rodents wouldn't eat anyway.
Fixing the test. Would you trust these people?
Fixing test results is hereby outed. It is a cheap byt highly profitable trick, producing false results as to humans. The role of the Pharmajocks in passing legislation requiring animal testing without reference to the allelopathic situation as to rodents is just coming to light.
The use of rodents for deceptive pharmajockal testing is also exploitive of an uneducated FDA and perhaps even people without computers (most of the country?) who can't look things up easily.
It is, at least, self-serving, manipulative, produces false correlations as to humans and is generally despicable. (lone cheer is heard at the back where the Alternatives reporter cowers).
"Pain-infliction is addictive and numbing. So let's call that approach quits. I guess that's it," concluded the President. Silence. Then cheers from two of the three divisions.
And the floorboards.
* See Jabberwocky, Lewis Carroll, at ://www.jabberwocky.com/carroll/jabber/jabberwocky.html/.
Hear it at ://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R9ZeWcXhlRE
** See Go Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night, by Dylan Thomas, at ://www.bigeye.com/donotgo.htm
FN 1 WEBSITE SUPPLEMENT (note, as with all news pulp references to a website, this effectively cuts off all people unwired)
Triangulation I. The structure shall not necessarily be equilateral, although the Foodies and Druggies shall at all times form the bottom base. The variable shall be the Alternatives, whose movable point depending on the case, may result in a scalene or isosceles triangle. See ://regentsprep.org/regents/math/triang/LTriangle.htm /. The nature of the angles depend on whether the Foodie or Druggie is being obtuse or acute, see http://regentsprep.org/Regents/math/angles/Langles.htm/, obtuseness having been the rule as to both to this point.
Triangulation II. Triangulation also refers to the "rescuer-persecutor-victim" game in human relationships, see ://www.sfhelp.org/basics/triangles.htm/ Warshington thrives on triangling in people, so to change Warshington in this regard will require Consultants, to be in next year's Budget. It is impossible to see the blame game while in the middle of it?
Loophole protection. The president acknowledges that there is no life without loopholes. There will always be a loophole somewhere that someone will attempt to use, and the greater the need for fast action and the greater the scope of the deal, the more likely it will be that loopholes rush in where drafters fear to tread. That is not a problem for this President, who sees loopholing as part of the predictable process. Loop-hoops is part of the game of legislating. Often it is more efficient to start a job going, and cope later with loop-hoops exigencies, than draft for every exigency. "Fix one, more will just show up," he said. "People just wanna have fun." Dodd, you did good. Any big agreement is flexible in the drafting. Plug this one, and watch another pop right up. Loop Hole bopping - new video game, profits to the Alternatives.