Cheryl Asclater has just seen the interview that her husband, Nate Rudy Asclater, gave at Equivocating Magazine Channel. A reporter for her home town newspaper and TV channel, the Fodder News Channel, stops her at a mall and asks if he can talk with her about it on the tape. He had her comments transcribed, and she reviewed it and gave permission for this publication and use on the Air.
Cheryl's addendum: I put in an update at the end here. I'll keep putting in updates because nothing stays the same. You can publish them or not, as you like. Then that's it for me. Enough of this gun culture. It's addictive. And it may do me in. Do us in. Thanks for reading, listening, whatever. Anybody else out there feel like I do? NRA - Not Really Altruistic, that's what I say. But Nate Rudy, he goes his own way. I see this whole business as getting like church for him - religious fervor he has, for his guns. Armsism. There you go. There we go.
Nate Rudy's Day
He should have given his interview here, though, because the title here, Fodder, is closer to what I think he feels and reacts to things. Read his first, to get an idea, at Nate Rudy, Everyman.
So: He told you some things. But I'm going to tell you another angle: how much time out of his day he spends in his head, because it is starting to affect me. Real scenes he puts himself in. All these rehearsals in his head.
He doesn't watch western movies any more, but he likes the face-off. He'll turn the channels to get a big confrontation.
He dares you to question him, like in the picture. Even if people are watching, he'll push it.
He watches from inside. People don't know they are being watched. He thinks about what they would do if they did, or if he actually did something. It's been a while since he had a steady job. But he has looked.
One of his favorites is when people don't know he is there. He will not risk getting hurt himself, but he has scenes in his head where suddenly he pops somebody. He isn't serious, I'm sure.
My worry is that he'll forget the difference between thinking about something and doing it; and when he spends so much time in his head imagining what he will do, he'll find himself really doing it just to see what it is like. Is the real thing as good as it was in his head. All those rehearsals, who will do and say what, what he will do and say, have to come out sometime.
There he is!
He's right. Who would have suspected he was in there, or that he could do that from there.
Pop that bottle, Nate! Bam!
Home? Not that bad with him. He wears his gun (used to be a security guard and was in the army once). Here is an exaggeration, because it doesn't happen all that much, but when it does, even the kids can't wait to get out of there: Pound the table, shout about something, that usually is an excuse to be loud. I go: Oh, Lord, won'tcha buy me, a Mercedes Benz, like old dead Janis Joplin, I think to myself. Hear/see at ://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lKNq-A-OqNs/ Let it run while you go on here.
Uh-oh. He's out in the parking lot now. Got out of the wagon. Changes position. Spots cover.
Yes, he tells me all this: He'll tell you what is in his head, instead of acting it out, so this is all harmless, I'm sure. He wouldn't do any of this.
He'll just tell you what he really would like to do, or what he plans to do, and that, believe me, can be scary. He seems to like that, seeing people's reactions. He'll act out more to be sure he gets all the reaction he can.
He doesn't like rules that stop him from doing what he wants, when he thinks he should be able to do it.
He gets creative with his gun. Feels strong. No end to what he can think up.
Where is he now.
What do you mean, the bathroom's "dated"? It's builder-standard and that's fine. It all works. Nate Rudy, I don't care!
Not funny, McGee, as my mother would say. What scares me is other people looking at Rudy, who don't realize he's just a guy who really likes going along, and having a group to go along with. Add a dose of be-afraid of something, and he loves it. Add a gun-skill and he eats it up. Armsism? He loves it. More adventure. A big role play. But I told him I'm not going to start in on a back and forth here on his life. He can go ahead and write his journal all he likes, but I'm out of it. He knows how I feel.