Spake the Calculators:
Who are they, pray tell, to tell us we cannot serve ourselves
And our clients, by what is "allowed," and what isn't,
To voice concern for what may be.
We will show them no evidence.
The light was green!
Hear our passenger aver,
The passenger also with knowledge, and
Who got home free
Thanks to our running of that self-same light.
Yes, indeedy, chirp drivers. Green it was!
While, behind the scenes, arranging and buying off
Persons and actions unnamed
To keep the traffic camera footage -- where?
Suddenly, il est disparu! Le footage!
Quel dommage! Ou est-il?
Never mind. We are telling you.
The light was green.
But that pesky IRA, the Andorra accounts,
What? Not Andorra?
Take a memo, churl.
Why not Andorra?
You mean we didn't use Andorra?
Driver, testifying on trial for
With head in bag; and others
Similarly situated, as he
Passes a note to lackey:
Psst. Put Andorra on the list.
We'll still be here
When this turkey's problem's gone.
And deep-six the X@$!X* celluloid.
Later: in a bugged room, transmitted:
Accounting rationales (garble) are our own trade secrets.
Show the tax returns, show the (garble garbles) how to plug the holes.
Can't have that (garble).
Mitt, baby, you're just the taxpayer --
We're on a bigger (garble) hook.
This is a nightmare for all of us (garble) Big Guys --
What if they say we are the fraud, that we cover all.
(Garble, mutter, cuss) So! It is agreed!
Those returns ... will ... (all line up, kick in sync) ...
No, they'll never return (the Kingstons)
Our calcs will stay unlearned.
They'll ride forever 'neath the streets of Boston
Or Utah. Or Michigan. Or New Hampshire.
Or California. Or DC.
They're the returns that never returned (sashay off, tutus bouncing)
The Public, non-plussed.
We'll ask Little John. He saw them.
No more confidentiality when you blab to a third party.
Now, is that so? Open season on disclosed returns!
Where's the legal privilege protecting disclosure to a political party?
Subpoena Little John.
Little John says, Gee, guys, I just don't remember.
Can't think, brain dumb, inspiration won't come.
Believe me! I didn't even open the package....
The Won't-Won't Trio.
Pricey, Mitty, and Johnny.
Public says, Wha?